Training Camp

I Cor 9: 25 Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.

Owen and I are both in training, for something very important, I am sure. It seems we are both being pruned, the sharp edges of our characters are being softened and molded into traits more pleasing to the Lord. I am learning patience, understanding, perseverance, while O learns obedience, immediate and cheerful obedience.

What a hard, exhausting past few days it has been. I love this little man more than I could ever say. He fills my heart to overflowing, and I treasure the time we spend together. And so these days when we clash all day long hurt my heart so much. I can't stand reflecting on my day and all that really sticks out is disciplining O, over and over again. It breaks my heart. I wish I could take a break, just let him get away with it for a little while, but I know it would be so much harder to correct the issues later on. I wonder: Is this how God feels about me sometimes? He just wants me to obey, to rest in Him, to stop struggling against Him. I am so thankful He loves me enough to keep on shaping me. And I love O enough to stick with it too.

The funny thing is, the rules have not changed. It is the Boy who has changed and grown and no longer obeys without thinking and without question. He is pushing, pushing, pushing back the boundaries, and it is my job to remain firm. I just am so tired!

I love this new Bigger Boy. He thinks things through and reasons with me. He tells the best jokes and has the best smile I've ever seen, all teeth and twinkling eyes. We will both emerge from this with stronger characters and a deeper love for God and for each other. And I can't wait to spend some quality time getting to know my bigger O.