Lots of Prayer & Deep Breathing

Owie, just look at how gorgeous and wonderful you are. All grown up and four and a half. You are smart and fun and witty and caring. I could not love anyone more. And yet this phase of your life, and therefore mine, has been a doozy! Putting it mildly, it has been tough around here lately. Allow me to elaborate...

As fast as your long, lean body is growing, your bright, bright mind is growing even faster. You are trying new things (like talking back and majorly testing limits), using your vibrant imagination (which often ends up with you scared silly at the things you dream up), and figuring out things for yourself (like what happens when you paint with chocolate pudding on our new floors or continuously come out of your room at night). You are growing up, and the growing pains have been difficult for everyone, especially as we watch you struggle.

Our hardest issue with you right now is your sleep, or lack-there-of. Once put to bed, you scream and cry for at least 2 hours every night, often coming out of your room which requires us to discipline you. Then, around 4:00am, the screaming starts again after you take a potty break. From 4:00 until about 6:00 you cry so sadly until you finally fall back to sleep. Daddy and I are exhausted, and I can tell by your behavior and sensitivity during the day that you are as well. You say you are so upset because you are lonely and want us to sleep by you. We have gone round and round with "Mommy and Daddy are down the hall. Brother is right next door. God is with you always. He never stops watching over you." We've memorized Scripture to keep the fear and loneliness at bay. Finally, last night, God showed me a tangible way to help you realize He is with you and loving you always. I asked you to feel the beating of your heart through your pajamies. You lit up as you discovered you could feel it. I explained to you that God directs your heart to beat each and every time. If your heart is beating, which it constantly is, then God is with you, telling it to beat. You seemed comforted...at least for a bit. We are beside ourselves with what to do for you and it breaks our hearts to hear you cry so desperately. We love you so much and hate to see you confused and hurting.

Anyway, enough of the problem areas. You are an extraordinary kid, Owen Halpin. Your imagination is on fire! You come up with the most elaborate and well-thought out stories. For example, you talk often of your "work": which days you have off, precise (read lengthy!) directions to your office, your job description, fellow employees. Your most recent job? Working with your very good (imaginary) friend Luke at your restaurant, 10 Pieces of Hamburger, located next door to the Waffle House, "not on the Taco Bueno side, Mommy, on the other side of the Waffle House." Your other favorite job has been to build and design houses. You say, "When we have another brother, I will build us a super big house with 4 bedrooms, one for all my brothers!"

So, a little more about Luke. He seems like a great guy. He does not come around too often, but when he does, it is just assumed that he is included in whatever we are doing. Going swimming? "Oh! And Luke is getting his swimsuit on too, Mommy." Alrighty then. At the drive through? "Luke's favorite is 40 bean burritos!" One time there was another guy named Mark along for the ride too. Again, it was just assumed he was around. "Don't forget about Mark, Mommy." Who? "You know, me and Luke's friend, Mark." Oh, sure. Okay. These guys mostly show up when O is talking about his current career path. I guess it's just no fun to work alone.

You are such a great Big Brother to Nosy. You listen to him and consider him and take care of him. You include him in your imaginative play and share with him. I can see you learning to put him above yourself (like when you let him sprinkle the favorite sprinkles or willingly hand over Julie so Nosy can sleep with her for the tenth night in a row). Of course, along with the current trends of behavior, he does get clobbered quite a bit...and pushed...and bossed around in a very commanding tone. Typical first born stuff, I guess. I am so blessed that, that for the most part, you truly do enjoy your little brother.

You still have the best laugh, the softest heart, the sweetest smile, the saddest tears. God has gifted you with a hunger for things of Him, a zeal for learning, a desire for good. You love to be held and rocked and sung to; to have your back rubbed before bed; to read a great story on my lap; to sing Amazing Grace with me.

You have awesome dance moves, are lacking any inhibitions and have serious style. (You wear mismatched shoes almost every day because it is just too hard to limit yourself to just one style/color.) You compose the best symphonies, direct my favorite movies (and make me big bowls of pretend popcorn to enjoy with the show), and conjure up the most fun games, complete with ever-changing rules. You tell the most hilarious knock knock jokes, give the most enthusiastic hugs, and have the most pitiful whine I have ever heard. You are my Son, and I love to you pieces.

I know that this is such a formative time in your life (It must be or I don't think you would be struggling so.). I pray constantly for the wisdom to raise you well, for grace and mercy and patience when the days get long and hard. I love, love you, Owie, and as you struggle, I am struggling right along with you. Thank God that He is loving us both and seeing us through this phase.