Popsicle Saturday

It was such a pretty evening, and after a day of chores and equally un-fun things, we needed something to break up the monotony. So we grabbed our frisbee and our stomp rocket and headed to a nearby greenbelt for some fun. We played and played and played and had a blast. Of course, by the time we got home 45 minutes later, Noah's blood sugar had bottomed out. Popsicles for everyone!

(Please ignore our broken blinds. Horrible looking, I know. We moved these from our living room to our bedroom to more effectively hide them away. I am embarrassed, but these Boys' sweet faces more than make up for the mess!)

One Month

Just check out that funny face, filled with mischief bubbling just below the surface. And check out that round tummy, straining against his shirt.

It has been one month since Nosy's diagnosis, and we have come so far. Noah has gained 4 1/2 pounds since that horrible day at the pediatrician. The kid eats and eats and eats, although I expect that to slow down soon, since he has gained back all he lost and then some. He is like a different child, so much more even tempered. He has energy and is such a happy boy again. And his bladder control? A mommy's dream! He is now staying dry through his nap in underwear and rarely has an accident.

I still can't believe how well Nosy's "pokes" are going. Guess what?! Between O and Noah, they basically check his blood sugar themselves. Noah climbs up on my lap, readies the poker and picks out the finger he wants checked. Meanwhile, O gets the glucometer ready for us. I line up the poker in the right area of Noah's tiny finger and Noah clicks the button. O scoops up the blood and reads me the result. It amazes me that Noah is already taking some ownership over his diabetes. I am so thankful that he will never remember life any other way. The shots are still a struggle from time to time and he has started fighting us some, but overall they go pretty well.

Jeremy and I keep waiting for Noah's sugars to become more stable, for a point where we can relax just a little. After talking to the doctors and other parents though, I am discovering that we may never reach that point. He is high one day, way too low the next. There are so many factors to consider: exercise, growth, illness, etc, that it becomes so difficult to predict things. So we are still checking his sugars at least 6 times a day, usually twice at night, and in close contact with the doctors about tweaking doses. Our family is still adjusting, mentally and physically, to the highs and lows and our expected response.

I am so thankful to the Lord for how he has sustained us through this past month. Seriously, there were times I wondered if we'd make it, and yet here we are. He is faithful and has given us just enough grace to handle each day as it comes. I am so grateful He is making a way for us. We can trust in Him.

Sugar & Spice & Everything Nice

I was privileged to practice my photography skills (or lack-there-of!) on three precious little girls this week.

Noah had fun too. This Boy loves babies!

Quite a Spectacle

I am sure that is what we were as we splashed in this fountain area on the corner of a rather busy intersection. But the day was so sunny and warm and the water so tempting. So with two little boys begging me to splash for awhile and very happy hearts, we removed our shoes and splashed away the morning. I am so glad we did.

Every so often O would head to this little area he called the "blow dryer." It was extra breezy under there and would air dry him a bit.

So, as you are out and about, if you see us splashing in unexpected places, kick off your shoes and join us. It's so great to act like a kid!

Memorial Day

How did we celebrate? With a marathon trip to Walmart (my most dreaded chore of all!) and great seats at the Rough Riders game. It was Nosy's first baseball game and he was intrigued, although he just could not grasp the concept of a batter getting three chances before being struck out. Each time a batter would miss, he would turn to me and say, "Batter all done!" I would explain again that he got three swings before he had to sit down. "No more turns! Turn over!" That is how Noah and I passed the entire game.

O and Daddy scarfed down ball park hot dogs, and we all enjoyed soaking in some sun.

Back Blogging

I posted a few things from back before Noah's diagnosis that never made it up on the blog.

LOVE These Boys!

Pop-o-rama

Snack Time

Crafty

I Almost Cried Today

Anyone that has read this blog before knows that I love to cook and bake with my kids. It's one of my favorite things to do. The Boys excitedly push their chairs over to the island, and we measure and pour and stir and mix and beat...and then we lick the bowl. When Nosy was diagnosed with diabetes, I was sure this part of our lives was over. Sampling batter and taste testing baked goods does not mesh very well with diabetes. My sweet mom even bought us boxes of sugar free Jello so that we could have something to prepare together that Noah could eat.

Today, a cake baking was called for. I almost dreaded it, knowing it could not be the same. I would have to wait until nap time, since there was no way I could keep Noah's pudgy fingers out of the batter. How could I tell him "No" when we have always loved doing this as a team?

So I thought and thought and thought...and came up with a plan. I figured out how many carbs were in a tiny pile of chocolate chips, carefully counted out. I guesstimated how much cake batter might be left on a used beater. We baked the cake at Noah's designated snack time...and he was able to sample, just like old times. I just kept better track of how much he ate and limited the sampling a bit. He did not even know the difference.

I almost cried with joy at the normalcy of it all. God is so good to me, to give me moments such as these to treasure in my heart.

The Saga of Chicken Nugget: The Release

Fast forward..way forward.

Chicken Nugget met an early demise while we were at the hospital with Nosy. I found him withered up outside his caterpillar house. I am experiencing extreme guilt over his death, knowing he would have been better off in the wild. Peter hatched while we were gone and did great for a day or two. Then he also died. We were so upset! Thankfully, Chrys had a couple of extra little guys at her house and generously shared with us. Thus, Chicken Nugget II came to live with us.

Chicken Nugget II was a champ! (After she emerged, we could determine from her markings that she was a female.) She ate. She pooped. She munched and crunched all around her yummy milkweed. And then she molted into her chrysalis. I don't have any photos, but a chrysalis is such a beautiful thing! It awes me every time.

When we woke up on Monday morning, the chrysalis had turned clear and monarch wings could be seen. We were so excited!! Since we had plans to meet Erica and Oliver at the Arbo, we packed Chicken Nugget II up with us. We did not want to miss her emergence!

As soon as we pulled up at the Arbo, I checked on Chicken Nugget II. Guess what I saw?!

We completely missed her emergence, but we had plenty of time to make her acquaintance.

Oliver wasn't too sure about our butterfly.

Neither one of my Boys wanted to hold her either. They were content to watch from a distance.

Nosy did generously try to feed her a rock. We left Chicken Nugget II happily exploring this beautiful flower. We could not think of a better home for her than the Arbo. We will look for her the next time we visit!

The Saga of Chicken Nugget: Discovery

After last year's wonderful experience of watching a monarch metamorphose before our very eyes, we were very anxious to try our experiment again. Alas, due to a drought in Texas, milkweed (where monarch's lay their eggs) was very scarce. After much milkweed hunting, we finally gave up...until we had a slew of storms which caused milkweed to sprout up like crazy! The Boys and I headed to a nearby park to hunt for milkweed and monarch eggs.

We checked many, many, many plants before finally finding what we were looking for.

The Boys forged new paths...

...and enjoyed relaxing in the (itchy) tall grass.

HOORAY!! Owie found some milkweed! See the tiny drips of "milk" on the leaf?

When I snipped the stem, I asked O to look closely at all the milk seeping out. O played a joke on me and pretended to sip the milk!

Chasing butterflies. I love their gleeful expressions!

Owie resting for a minute.

After over an hour of hunting, we came home with an abundance of milkweed, one half-grown caterpillar and one teeny tiny egg. Nosy named the caterpillar "Chicken Nugget" without any thought or hesitation. After much pondering, O named his egg "Peter."

Chicken Nugget

Peter

Arbo with Oliver

With all the chaos in our lives, we have not been to the Arbo in ages! And we have missed it! As things are settling down a bit, I love that we are gradually getting back to doing some of our favorite activities. We joined Erica and Oliver at the Arbo to soak in this great weather.

Routine

We are settling into a little bit more of a routine around here. We've even conquered getting out of the house over meal time. Inch by inch, we all are adjusting to this new way of life. It is still not easy and requires a great deal of planning and thought and calculating, but little by little it is beginning to seem more normal.

Nosy's blood sugars remain high, but overall they are lower than they were a week ago. After talking with people that know a lot more about diabetes than I do, I can only assume that Noah has felt pretty cruddy lately with his blood sugars running so high. Once they are stabilized within his target range, they have said I can expect a whole new kiddo. I am pretty fond of the kiddo I have, but he has been prone to crabbiness and fit throwing over the past few weeks. It is very likely that he doesn't feel very well. We are working with the doctors continuously, adjusting his insulin doses until we find the one that keeps Noah under good control.

Jeremy and I are still struggling with the permanence of the disease. We discussed last night that neither one of us can look at him or hug him without unconsciously analyzing every aspect of him. Is he sweaty? Clammy? Pale? Jittery? Is he okay? I am sure he is tired of us asking if he feels alright. Hopefully, one day, we will be able to relax a little more.

The shots and blood sugar checks are going well. He still cries a little most of the time, but he is easily distracted and recovers quickly. I am so proud of that Boy! What has been harder this week is making sure he finishes his meal in the allotted 30 minutes. I am constantly harping at him to "Eat up!" I need to be careful not to give the kid a food disorder, as focused as we are on what goes into that mouth of his.

By the grace of God, I think I can see, way off in the distance, a day when this will all be easier. When getting out of the house will not be quite so stressful, when we can relax and sleep through the night again, when calculating insulin doses will be no sweat. Isn't God so good to us? He is bringing us through this, one baby step at a time. He is with us all the way. We are leaning on Him.

Dive In!

Today my Baby Sister turns 30!

We celebrated Auntie LouLou by picking up her favorite foods and drink and lounging by her fabulous new pool. Her backyard is an oasis, complete with outdoor kitchen, pool, spa and waterfall. I can feel the tension oozing out of my shoulders as soon as I step outside!

Caroline and her baby, Kirby

We all donned suits for the first time this year and dove in...to the hot tub. No need to heat the whole pool when the hot tub is the perfect size for our little party!

The Boys had so much fun splashing around. O tried floaties for the first time and was a pro! We discovered Nosy has absolutely no fear, as he jumped into the water several times when no one was looking to catch him. He just floated, suspended in the water, huge eyes wide open, until someone scooped him up. No tears or complaining. We will have to keep close tabs on him this summer!

Happy, happy Birthday, Lou! We love you!

The Latest

Just a super quick update before I crash for the night:

Well, Noah still has diabetes. And there are still times when it hits me as if I am finding out again for the very first time. There is definitely a grieving process to go through. And lots of chocolate. I am going through lots of chocolate.

Jeremy headed back to work today. Can I just brag on my sweet Hubby for a minute? This guy amazes me!! Not only is he super helpful and involved when we are both around: drawing up meds and giving shots like he is McDreamy himself, but he also took care of both Boys all day yesterday so I could go to a class to learn even more about diabetes. He flew solo and did a terrific job! The kids were well taken care of and played with, the house was clean, and everyone was smiling when I got home.

Nosy's blood sugars are still running high. Especially the lunch blood sugar, which is usually in the 400's. He is adjusting to the shots and sometimes only gives us a whimper instead of a full blown cry. Brave Boy. He is stronger than I knew. We took him to the pediatrician today and he has gained back 2 of the 3 1/2 pounds he lost prior to diagnosis. The kid loves to eat! I am so proud of Nosy-Posy and how he has adapted. There are still occasional bouts of anger, but for the most part, he is doing amazingly well.

We have been working hard to help O adjust. We have tried lots of things: more family time, more time alone with one parent, a special outing with his cousins, skipping nap to do special bigger boy things with mommy. I finally stumbled upon something that has helped dramatically. He just wants to be involved. He now has the job of holding the blood sugar meter while I poke Nosy's finger, and then he helps me scoop up the tiny drop of blood. When it is time to check Noah's blood sugar, everyone that is home rallies around the poker chair to lend a hand. Not only does Noah feel tons of attention focused on him, but O feels like a crucial part of it.

I am sad to report that I have still not ventured out of the house except for a walk around the block or a quick trip to the store. I am really nervous about being out over a meal for some reason, and all the paraphernalia I have to pack just for a quick trip out intimidates me. Tomorrow, I am headed to the Home School Book Fair though, to pick out kindergarten curriculum for Owie: an all day outing. My parents are coming to lend a hand, so hopefully we will do okay. I am anxious about it, but I am also sick of just being at home.

I am weary of thinking about, dreaming about, breathing in and out blood sugars and insulin and carbs. At the class I attended yesterday, I learned even more info that further complicates things. For example, before Noah exercises for 45 minutes to an hour, I need to load him up with extra carbs and check his blood sugar before, during and after the exercise. That includes swimming this summer, running around the Arbo, riding bikes out front, not to mention when he starts organized sports. And there are tons of other things like that to consider. What about when he gets a pukey bug and can't eat? What about when he goes to a birthday party and wants to be like everyone else and enjoy a piece of cake? Anyway, I am weary and stressed and ready for the day when this will be second nature rather than all-consuming.

Yet I know that God is sustaining us. To think that it has only been 10 days since we first heard the news! The Lord has brought us so far in that short time. May I learn continued dependence on Him to make it through each day. He is so faithful. He has proven that to our family over and over again.

Time Flies When You're Having Fun

Which is NOT what we have been having around here. So the days drag by, inching from insulin shot to insulin shot; from blood sugar check to blood sugar check; meal to meal. Nosy's blood sugars continue to be so unstable: ranging from 66-550 in a 24 hour period. We are stressed and tired and stressed and sad...and stressed.

O is really having a difficult time, regressing in speech and clinginess, crying for hours before he falls asleep at night. Putting the Boys in the same room helped bedtime immensely. Instead of crying, Owie played and giggled with his brother...until after 10pm. So last night, we gave them a couple of warnings and eventually had to put Nosy back in his own room. Owen proceeded to cry and scream for another hour. I can sympathize with the Guy. I feel like regressing and crying and screaming too. His whole world has been turned upside down.

A few details I want to remember:

*We have noticed that when Nosy starts peeing on the floor, his blood sugar is high. Every time his sugar is over 400, he starts having accidents.

*God so blessed us with a lady in Jeremy's HR department. She has a daughter with Type I diabetes and has been walking us through ordering meds and supplies. She knows just what to do, so we just have to carry out what she says, rather than waste brain power trying to figure it out on our own.

*The Child Life lady at the hospital recommended that we designate a specific area for all shots and blood sugar checks. We have picked a green chair in our living room to be the "Poke Chair." Noah knows to head there every time we mention getting a "poke." Thus far, he sits on one of our laps and the other does the poking. What a luxury for me! It will all change when Jeremy goes back to work later in the week.

*Noah has learned to mostly sleep through the middle of the night blood sugar checks. What a blessing for him! I am so thankful he is not losing sleep.

*Another thing I am so grateful for is the family and friends that have been praying us through this and rallying around us, providing meals, listening ears, shoulders to cry on, gifts for the kids, words of encouragement. I am overwhelmed by the body of Christ and how we have been ministered to. We are so very blessed.

I trust that God is going before us every day, one step at a time, making a way for us. How grateful I am that He is seeing us through, carrying us when it seems to be too much for us to handle. He is faithful and I know that good will come of this situation. I trust His heart. He loves me and He loves Jeremy and He loves Nosy and O. We are right where we need to be, in the palm of His hand, dependant fully on Him alone.

Normalcy

We may not be brave enough to attempt an over-a-meal outing quite yet, but we did mange to have a little weekend fun, without encountering any swine flu.

Playing at the park:

Skipping in the rain: