Episode 9 (15 wks): Jehova Jireh, the LORD Will Provide

We serve an awesome God, a good God, a God who cares about the most minute details, details that only He could know would be of such importance to me. Our God is good and He shows me His love for me in such unique ways. It would be impossible to list all the ways He provided for Jeremy and me during this trial, but I will list just a few of the ways that touched my heart the most. In all of them, He used the active, thriving Body of Christ to minister to my hurting heart.

At the time, J and I were members of a wonderful church called Watermark. Once the good folks at Watermark got wind of our situation, especially the fact that this could go on for weeks or months, they cheerfully pitched right in to help. Between Watermark and our families, we had meals delivered to our front door three times a week for the next 10 weeks! Our food needs were completely provided for! And I could rest at ease that Jeremy had been relieved of at least one responsibility.

Remember that lovely house we closed on way back in Episode 2? Well the time was drawing near that we were to be moving in. The nesting urge was strong as there was packing and cleaning to be tended to and a new home to dream about decorating and settling in to. Unfortunately, my body was just not cooperating. Any time I as much as rolled over to change position, the blood would gush again. Actually, the only position in which the flow would stop was flat on my back. But my sweet Lord provided for us perfectly once again. My Dad was between jobs at this point in his career. He and my Mom spent many afternoons packing, packing, packing away, following my directions to a tee so that I would feel some sort of control over this completely out of control situation.

My most frivolous provision came to be because of the sensitive heart of my sister-in-law, Julianne. What newly pregnant Mom-to-be doesn't dream of the day when she can legitimately shop for maternity clothes, sporting her newly popped baby belly? Well now that the ulcer was under control and my weight was no longer dropping, I was starting to show a tiny bit and my "lounge wear" was beginning to feel a bit snug. I sent my sweet Husband to Target with specific instructions as what to hunt for: stylish yet comfortable, roomy yet not tent-like, cute but not cutesy clothing to wear to the doctor and while ticking away the hours in bed. Poor, poor Jeremy. I have never seen him so befuddled! (And I don't blame him! Quite a tall order for a guy dealing with a hormonal wife!) After many phone calls home and quite awhile at Target, he came home with one tiny bag: a white T shirt and a pair of pajama pants. Super sweet and comfortable no less, but this just wasn't going to cut it for the next 5 months!

The very next day, amazing Julianne showed up at my apartment door. She had bought every single maternity item Target carried and brought it to my bedroom. This was better than shopping on-line! I could touch the clothes, model them, put together outfits, keep the stuff as long as I wanted, and then Ju would return the castoffs for me. Only Julianne would realize how important it was to me to be able to select a few cute things to wear on my very few and far between outings. My heart was so encouraged and lifted up by her sensitivity to my desires.

God even went so far as to provide me with the most amazing bed rest Buddy! My wonderful friend Jenn and I got pregnant only a couple of months apart. I was so excited to be going through this miraculous process with one of my best friends, especially since we shared our most amazing doctor. But then she started to have problems, almost from the get go. She was eventually put on bed rest a few weeks after me. Although I was (of course!) terribly saddened that she was having issues with her precious baby, it was invaluable to have a friend always just a phone call away, laying in her bed knowing exactly what I was going through. We were able to encourage each other's hearts, be a sounding board for each other, understand each other's fears and hopes like no one else. What a sweet, sweet friend God gave me when He introduced me to Jenn. We have only grown closer since those scary times. (Her Big Boy is now almost four, by the way! Gorgeous and thriving!)

Just putting into writing a very few of the awesome ways God provided for screwed up human me brings tears to my eyes and joy to my soul. That the God of the universe would even care if I had a friend to lean on or clothes to choose from, or even food that Jeremy didn't have to cook and boxes filled without me lifting a finger blows my mind! He loves me and cares about the tiniest of details. Of course this same God is loving my tiny baby completely and does not take His eyes off of him (or me!) for even a second. I can trust Him. I will trust Him. He demonstrated His immense love for me with such compassion and tenderness. I will lay here and let Him love me, let Him teach me about His heart. I will not come away from this experience unchanged. Mold my heart to look like Yours, God. Change me...and I trust you with our baby.