Epsiode 7: Admitted at 13 Weeks

What a great week! Two fun outings and a relaxed frame of mind. I could handle this not-so-stressful type of bedrest.

After a delish dinner at Mom and Dad's, Jeremy and I headed home to watch a movie. Not too much past the opening credits, however, I could tell something was not right. (This may get a little uncomfortably graphic...especially for people such as my dad and dad-in-law...you may want to just skim this next part.) I kept sensing odd gushes. Rushing to the potty, there was once again blood running down my leg into puddles on the floor. That's never good. "Just take deep breaths, Rae. It'll pass," I kept telling myself. I cleaned up and headed back to bed to watch some more movie. I was pretty crampy but not doubled over, so I hesitated mentioning anything to Jeremy. (Jeremy and I do so well together. He is prone to panicking, while I way under-react to things like this. What a great balance! Part of my under-reacting, however: not mentioning possibly important facts.) After about ten minutes had passed, I was noticeably damp, as were my pj's and the sheets. Hmmm. Maybe this justifies telling my husband. Panic ensued and he immediately started packing to head to the ER. Meanwhile, I was soaking through overnight pads every 5-10 minutes. At this point, I conceded that maybe I did need some medical attention.

Having never done this before, we headed to the Baylor ER (Instead of going straight to L&D triage, which we soon learned is much better equipped for such occurrences. We just weren't thinking.). Jeremy was really freaking out, which helped me remain calm somehow. (Isn't it cool how God works that out between couples?) I surely was scared for the baby, but somehow it all seemed kind of surreal, even as it was happening. Maybe it was the drastic blood loss? I don't know. We were seen immediately by the ER doctor, who was an incredibly young, uncomfortable with gushing blood from down there type of guy. After a quick sono, it was determined that Baby was doing just great, not stressed out at all by this incredible blood loss, happy as a bug in a rug swimming around inside...and what a cutie he was! Just glimpsing the little guy made everything seem so much more okay. The docs ran a ton of tests, sent every type of sample imaginable, and then shuttled me off to a room to spend the next couple of days on IV fluids. Thankfully, I never needed a blood transfusion, to the great surprise of all involved.

The bleeding ebbed and flowed (literally) for the next two days. My doctor wanted to keep me until one pad was lasting longer than an hour. This did not happen until late the next day. Again, my wonderful doc was amazed that my hematocrit never dropped below that magical number of needing a transfusion. We were privileged to get two more sonos during my stay. Just seeing my tiny jumping bean gave me so much peace and hope. Not only was he doing okay, he was absolutely perfect. He? No we did not find out the gender. Still way too early and we were hoping to keep it a surprise. We just always referred to the baby as a he, and in our hearts his name was already Owen (more on that later!).

So what exactly was wrong with me? It was that durned clot. It was still growing by leaps and bounds. The more I bled, the bigger it grew, causing me to bleed more. A vicious cycle. So what was the plan? Again, I heard way too many times, "If you make it that far..." The clot needed to come out for the baby to have room to grow and thrive. It was now pretty sizable though, a little larger than a tennis ball. The doctor was worried that I would have to dilate for it to pass, and if I dilated there was a very good chance the baby would be delivered too. There was nothing we could do but wait, lay very still and wait. Good-bye outings! I was put back on strict bedrest, only permitted to take a quick shower and use the restroom.

Lord!

Show me your face in this scary time. May I cling to you. Reveal your character more fully to me through this trial. Help me to take my anxious thoughts captive and commit them to you. You are in control and love this child more than we could ever love it. You have a perfect plan. May I rest in you. May this be a time of active learning while I rest. I do not want this time to go to waste.