Episode 5: Side Effects

Being a pregnant newlywed, on bedrest, has its side effects, physical and emotional.

First of all, the physical. I was suffering from some sort of strange ailment. By the time of my next appointment at 10 weeks, I had lost more than 15 pounds. I couldn't eat because of horrific stomach pain. At first, I was encouraged. "Oh! I'm morning sick! That means the pregnancy is still sticking!" I was almost thankful for the shooting pains that kept me in the fetal position for most of the day, convinced it was a good sign. (I promise you I am not being dramatic here. Jeremy found me in the fetal position every day after work.) But after discussing my symptoms with a few girlfriends, I discovered that what I was experiencing was far from morning sickness. With the fear of sounding like a complaining baby to my ob (I should just be grateful I was still pregnant...and I was grateful, just in a lot of PAIN!), I finally confessed my symptoms. She had sensed something was wrong when I almost passed out from lack of calories walking to her office. She scheduled a battery of tests for me and an appointment with a gastroenterologist.

Emotionally, I was also struggling. Here I was, a newlywed, so excited to have set up apartment life with my Honey. It was all I had prayed for: a man to love and dote on. Alas, Honey was having to work full time, and then come home to care for the apartment and his ailing, emotionally needy wife. Jeremy took it all in stride, with a great attitude and loving, sensitive heart, consistently keeping the house to my standards. I know the last thing he wanted to be doing on his time off was cleaning toilets and doing the grocery shopping, but it all got done with efficiency and thoroughness. I think it was far harder on me because I have always felt my purpose in life was to be a loving wife and mother. I felt like I was failing at both jobs. I could not care for my husband the way I wanted to. I couldn't even be pregnant "right." All I could do was lay in that bed, helplessly watching other people do my jobs. And so, I started down a long road to learn a hard lesson: How to let go of control and ask others for help.

Other random side effects:

I really could only stomach ice cream during these weeks. I existed on ice cream and still lost weight. I've never been able to claim that before or since!

No one in my family would allow me to drive a car for some reason. Thus I was chauffeured everywhere I went...which was really just to the doctor and back home again. It was very odd not to drive for weeks on end. (Eventually we just loaned my car out, since I seriously did not drive one mile for 7 months.)

Highway billboards on the way to the doctor have never been so intriguing. After staring at my bedroom walls for hours at a time, even Highway 75 was scenic!

Jeremy subscribed to Blockbuster on-line. Unlimited old movies (Shirley Temple always cheered me up!) to help me while away the hours.

I had to ask Jeremy to buy my "feminine hygiene products." How humbling for this shy bride! I'm sure he wasn't too pleased about it either, but he did it with a smile!

I got hooked on "Dawson's Creek." Two episodes came on every single day, and I watched them all! You've got to love teen drama!